Three Gatekeepers That Our Mouths Need
Whom we should also deploy in our social media.
Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen and understand. What goes into a man’s mouth does not make him ‘unclean,’ but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him ‘unclean.’”
— Matthew 15:10–11
We live in a verbose world. Words are often thrown like harmless weapons. Often they are uttered without second thought and consideration. Often they sow hatred and malice despite unintended.
The advent of social media escalated this verboseness. One can reach anyone in this world in a matter of seconds. One can touch anyone’s life in a matter of clicks. One can change anyone’s future in a matter of words.
We have seen people getting abused offline and online because of our words. What we thought a harmless comment could lead to suicide. One racist word might escalate to a full-fledged fight. One insult might transform into a worldwide incident. Words hurt.
Even more saddening — but not surprising — we blame the victims as weak and sensitive. How sad.
This chaos needs to stop. No one wants to live in an inconsiderate, insensitive, unempathetic world unless they are those.
Before anything comes out of your mouth — and fingers — consult with these 3 gatekeepers:
Is it true?
Are the words coming out the truth? Are they based on facts rather than assumptions? The world would be a much better place even if we only have this one gatekeeper.
Hoax is spiraling out of control. It is such a shame that people want to manipulate others and do harm to strangers. We have seen the impact on our trust levels. We now don't really trust anyone.
We now live in a world full of prejudice and suspicion. We need to fact-check everything. Is it a world you want to live in?
Is it kind?
Do we have any malicious intentions? Are we speaking just to hurt other people? Am I angry at the moment?
If it is not kind, it should not be said at all. There is no point and benefit from speaking to hurt someone.
Truth be told, unkind words only channel our inner anger and lack of self-control. Unkind words come out from disturbed souls.
Additionally, unkind words often hurt our closest ones. We throw tantrums at them, mock them, criticize them at every opportunity.
We vent on them. We channel the anger and frustration on them because we know they will stay. We treat strangers like loved ones and loved ones like strangers. Weird.
Is it necessary?
Do I need to say it? What happens if I don't say it? Will anything bad happen if I stay silent?
Some people talk too much, and we understand that anything in large quantity has more room for error. With a higher chance of error, we open more room to misunderstanding.
What might be considered trivial can escalate into a full-blown argument just because we can’t stop talking.
Companies produce more products, and it is accompanied by more thorough inspection. In our communication, it is the reverse. The more we can talk, the more we don't care.
If only we can apply the same principle to our communication.
“But I never intend to hurt.”
Said everyone who hurts other people.
It is not about what you say; it is about how the listener receives your message.
What is considered joking with your clique can be considered an offense with another group of people.
Justifying action based on people’s reactions is misleading. Some people are more sensitive than others, and it is not them who need to be less sensitive; it is us who need to be more considerate.
Hence, is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
“They started it first.”
Said everyone who started a malicious debate.
It is not about what you say; it is about how the listener receives your message.
People judge what they hear and say personally, so there is no point in blaming who started what.
Hence, is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Only confident, respectful people own these 3 gatekeepers
And there is nothing you can do to perturb the mind of confident people. They are content with what they have inside.
Confidence and respect give birth to and nurture the three gatekeepers. It is more of a matter of habit than talents/inborn personality. It is a sign of maturity and self-contentment. It is a sign of true freedom.
The 3 gatekeepers will lead us to a better life. They will shield us from attacks and equip us with the three most powerful weapons: truth, kindness, and value.
Before it is too late, before we hurt the people we don't want to hurt, before we push away people who love us, let us deploy the 3 gatekeepers in our life.
Because freedom from external malice is the freedom, we must seek.
